February 21, 1993
Written on the coldest night of February 1993, right after a concert at the Roaring Brook Nature Center. A song of hope and the strength of love.
Lui – vocal, Lowden guitar
David – cello
Joan – keyboards
It’s midnight and I’m still awake, my pencil in my hand
For lying next to you alone is more than I can stand
Though my eyes are barely open I’d not come to easy sleep
So yet awhile I’ll linger here and late night watch I’ll keep.
What holds me here, I wonder, with our days so filled with pain
This cold and silent home we share, what reason to remain?
Some empty hope for future joys or memory of the past
Our long neglected bank account of love we have amassed?
In those early days of passion, freely bonding our two souls
I swore there’d be no marriage vows, no filling worn out roles
Then came the day I wanted you to have and you to hold
And the birthing of our children and the building of our home.
Now these roles of wife and mother I have sought so well to fill
Though my mother’s unacknowledged rage came against my will
And the pattern recreated here, it was not my intent
But I’ve fought the culture’s power till my energy’s near spent.
My strength, my creativity, my passion and my play
These qualities I claim unto me more with every day.
But the joys that once we shared I now can find only alone
And I wonder, when self’s divided, can it reconcile as one?
Can I loose the ties that bind me, can I really be that brave?
Can I shake myself from anger and create the life I crave?
And now that we have grown so close, I long to let you see
The woman that you fell in love with when we both were free.
For though we argue so, I truly think we’re of like mind
And once we get past our differences, our purpose be aligned
To heal the old resentments and to call on life anew
May this love we hold between us be enough to bear us through.
©1993 Molly Gamblin Music (BMI)